I'm currently reading Elizabeth Gilbert's book, Eat Pray Love. I tend to find something within the books I read that I really identify with, but with some books, that connection is a lot stronger and easier to see. This particular book has had me doing a lot of soul-searching.
This was a very personal book for her to write...full of raw honesty and actual events and feelings in the year or so after her divorce. When I picked it up, it was simply because I wanted to read it before seeing the movie, but as it turns out, it's a very personal book to me, too. I totally identify with so much of what she's written (and I'm only about half-way through it right now.) The circumstances that led to my divorce were horrible, and I remember that for a while, ALL I wanted was to get AWAY. I wanted to go on a cruise or just take off to Italy or Ireland or really anywhere but here. The difference between Gilbert & me is that somebody actually paid her to do it.
After she left her husband, she fell in love with someone else very quickly. I did, too. And today, I read a chapter from her time in India that resonated with me very deeply with regard to that, and I just wanted to share it. It's part of a conversation between Liz and a man she met at the ashram she stayed at in India...Richard from Texas, who calls her Groceries (you'll have to read it to understand.)
There have been a lot of passages in this book that caught my eye, but that one just really hit home."But I really loved him."
"Big deal. So you fell in love with someone. Don't you see what happened? This guy touched a place in your heart deeper than you thought you were capable of reaching. I mean you got zapped, kiddo. But that love you felt, that's jut the beginning. You just got a taste of love. That's just limited little rinky-dink mortal love. Wait till you see how much more deeply you can love than that. Heck, Groceries - you have the capacity to someday love the whole world. It's your destiny. Don't laugh."
"I'm not laughing." I was actually crying. "And please don't laugh at me now, but I think the reason it's so hard for me to get over this guy is because I seriously believed David was my soul mate."
"He probably was. Your problem is you don't understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Your problem is, you just can't let this one go. It's over, Groceries. David's purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of that marriage that you needed to leave, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you had to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it. That was his job, and he did great, but now it's over. Problem is, you can't accept that this relationship had a real short shelf life. You're like a dog at the dump, baby - you're just lickin' at an empty tin can, trying to get more nutrition out of it. And if you're not careful, that can's gonna get stuck on your snout forever and make your life miserable. So drop it."
"But I love him."
"So love him."
"But I miss him."
"So miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him, and then drop it. You're just afraid to let go of the last bits of David because then you'll really be alone, and Liz Gilbert is scared to death of what will happen if she's really alone. But here's what you gotta understand, Groceries. If you clear out all that space in your mind that you're using right now to obsess about this guy, you'll have a vacuum there, an open spot - a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with that doorway? It will rush in - God will rush in - and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. So stop using David to block that door. Let it go."
"But I wish me and David could - "
He cuts me off. "See, now that's your problem. You're wishin' too much, baby. You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta be."
